Dear Phillip:
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm selling myself. I think I realized it when you put cuffs on me in your camping car and I saw you sit on my best friend. I'm sure you're man enough to understand that santa doesn't exist. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I always wanted to break Eggplant-fetishism .
with ease,
Juiceh
Try it --> http://amuris.deviantart.com/journal/20567546/